Beginning of the End
by KawaiiYasha
Summary: Please just read the story :
1. Prologue

Hey everyone it me I'm back with a new story. Yeah a new one, don't worry I will update my other stories too, but I just need a break from them. Any who I came up with this one by being bored in class (which happens very often (very often)). It my first attempt at the first person point of view, so be nice. Also I'm going to keep the chappies of this story very short so I can update quicker. I really hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:** Even though all the characters are down right sexy especially Hiro they do not belong to me.

**Author Note:** I have no idea where I'm going with this story so please be patient. Also I might change the title; I just came up with this one while I was typing. But of course **_REVIEW!_**

**Beginning of the End**

**Prologue **

As I pull myself up off the floor and rub my stingy eyes. I walk towards the elevator and hit the down button. I glance back at the door, hoping with all my heart and soul that it will open, he'll come out, call me and idiot, and let me back in. The 'ding' of the elevator's arrival brought me back to my harsh reality and I step on. As soon as the doors closed I collapsed into another fit of tears. He's such an insensitive, heartless, egotistical bastard. I tried to pick myself up and leave the elevator but I'm weak, fragile…nothing without him. I continue to rub my eyes to get the tears to end. This isn't right. When did I allow things like this to happen to me? I fight with my legs to allow me to stand and walk towards the exit. As the crisp cool air hit my burning face I look up and see our…his apartment. The light was on! Maybe he wants me to come back. Suddenly my 'light' of hope was turned off, diminishing all my chances of coming home that night.

Like I said short and simple. Please review though I will really appreciate it. Got to go!


	2. Chapter 1: Pent up Emotions

Yeah I'm back again. Told you I would update quick. So I like to thank the person who review my story so thanks Luciver for reviewing its one whole review more than what I thought I would get so super thanks!

Disclaimer: So totally don't own it…even thought I wouldn't mind borrowing Hiro for a couple of years (hehehe)!

A/N: Still don't know exactly where I'm going but I did write another chappie.

Chapter 1: Pent up Emotions

I regret not grabbing my jacket when I was thrown out; it's freaking freezing out here. I looked up to take in me surroundings. Where the hell am I. He's right I am an idiot. Only I would walk around, in the dead of night and not know where I'm going. When me and that grrrrr just thinking about him makes me mad. I mean it wasn't my fault. Ok it wasn't completely my fault but he didn't have to me so harsh and he sure as hell didn't have to kick me out. I stopped under the streetlight to gather my thoughts. I have to figure out where the hell I'm going.

I'm tired of always running to Hiro when him and me have a fight. It's not fair to wake him up in the middle of the night with my problems. I sure as hell wouldn't want my 'best friend' to do that to me. Now hat I think of it, he has a hell of a lot of tolerance. He's a great friend; I'm happy that he's in my life. I don't deserve him, his kindness, patience most definitely his friendship.

So I'm not going to his apartment, thats clear, but where else is there? I need to sit down and think.

Somehow I wandered my way to the park where it everything all began. My happiness and sorrow. My pleasure and pain. The beginning and end. Wait end…end…yes end. Its time to end this… I can't even call it a relationship. But I love him. I need him in my life and whether he wants to believe it or not he needs me just as bad, if not more. When I came into his life he was dark, cold…broken and because of me, ME he was brought back into the light, fed off the warmth I emitted, began to heal. IT WAS POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF ME! And that damn ignorant fool had the nerve to kick me out after all that I did. All that I gave up and sacrifice just to be with him, in his presence. Plus it wasn't like I ask for much, all I wanted was a place in his heart and a small space in his apartment to call my own. THAT'S IT!

Ok…that not all but it wasn't like I was asking him to turn lead into gold and even if I was the loving thing to do is at least try. So what the hell am I suppose to do now? What do I feel like doing? Come o now think! What to do? What to do? I can't handle this right now.

I need to get away. Have to get away, far away.

Hey another done and finished. Please Review!


	3. Chapter 2: Out of Control

Wow third chappie. I'm really cranking these things out aren't I. Yeah I'm so proud of myself. Anyway I don't have that much time so I going to keep the opening short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation but when I become super rich I will (hoping) buy it and share it will the world (but not my Hiro) and the lyrics aren't my either they belong to Hoobastank. I just heard the song yesterday and thought it went with my story. The name of it is "Out of Control"

Author note: Still don't know where the hell I'm going with this story. Also this is my very first song fic so be supper nice.

Chapter 2: Out of Control

At first I thought everything was fine. My happy illusions were cheerfully being chipped away with all the harsh words, the threats, the sweet nothings.

I've done everything as you say  
I've followed your rules without question  
I thought it would help me see things clearly  
But instead of helping me to see  
I look around and it's like I'm blinded

Out of Control

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I walk through the park and my memories came flooding back to me like a rushing waterfall. I can envision him walking towards me, with that cold aura that surrounds him, all high and mighty. I stood in that same exact spot where we first met and reminisce.

Where should I go?  
What should I do?  
I don't understand what you want from me  
Cause I don't know  
If I can trust you  
I don't understand what you want from me

All these emotions are overwhelming me and I can feel my tears welling up again. Damn him. Only he can make me cry like this. It's not right, not fair. All I ever did was love him and try to make him happy. So why does he only make cry.

I feel like I'm spinning out of control  
Try to focus but everything's twisted  
And all along I thought you would be there  
(Thought you would be there)  
To let me know I'm not alone  
But in fact that's exactly what I was

No. NO! No more tears, no more pain, no more love. I can't give anymore. I have no more…none. I rub my eyes forcing my tears to stop. I look around and felt disgusted and devastated.

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

So I did what I should have done a long time ago…run. Run as fast as I can, as far as my legs can take me. As far as I can go, until I feel like I'm going to past out.

Where should I go?  
What should I do?  
I don't understand what you want from me  
Cause I don't know  
If I can trust you

All of the things you've said to me

I stop and grabbed on to the nearest thing to me. My chest is killing me its hurts to breathe. Where am I? I look up only to se the apartment complex I started at. How the hell did I end up back here? Why the hell did I come back here? I peer up at the darken window.

Where should I go?  
What should I do?  
I don't understand what you want from me

Is it a mystery?

Is it a mystery?

Why must you torment me so? What kind of hold do you have on me? Why can't I escape this endless torture? I want to scream, yell, cry, 'Set Me Free" but knowing you and your selfish ways, you won't do that so I have to; I'll set myself free.

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I'm spinning out of control

Out of Control

I swallow hard gathering my courage and what else I have left in me. I have to take action, it's my turn now. I'm going to make you go through all that I had to endure, make you go through all the difficulties you put me through.

Where should I go?  
What should I do?  
I don't understand what you want from me  
Cause I don't know  
If I can trust you

All of the things you've said to me

And I may never know the answer

To this endless mystery

Where should I go?  
What should I do?  
I don't understand what you want from me

As I wait for the elevator my determination is building up and strength returning to my weaken body and mind. I'm ready. I step off the elevator, quickly making my way to OUR door I reach to the top of the door frame and took the spare key that I have made. Hiro suggested that I have one made after the third time I was kicked out. Thanks Hiro. I slid the piece of metal that carried all my anger, frustration, and hatred into the slot. I enter as quietly as possible, tiptoeing over to the spot reserve for me, looking for a few items. I need: my wallet with all my important papers, my ipod, my new laptop, and a few…damn. I have to get some clothes and there're in his room. He said it's much neater to just keep them there. Damn damn damn DAMN. Ok.

I should do all the things I have to before taking that risk. So I grab the belongings I have now and place them into a backpack. I then grab my notebook I always kept on the coffee table and start writing my letter to Hiro. I'm going to tell him what a great friend he is and that he doesn't have to worry about me anymore.

Wow I didn't know I had so much to write, six pages. I rip it out and grab an envelope out of the stationary draw. I put my letter in and sealed it properly, I only want Hiro to see this, no one else. I grab my book again. He'll know how much pain I was in by the time he finish reading my letter to him. As I put the pen to the paper I find that I can't do it. I can't…I see drops of water hit the book and suddenly realize that I'm crying. I'm freaking crying again! Why? I put the notebook down and wipe my eyes. It's probably because I'm here in this place that has so much reminders of what was. I have to get out. I tiptoe towards his room and slowly open the door. I see him sleeping soundly and so many words came to me.

Cute

Sexy

Hot

Conceited

Selfish

Mean

Hurtful

Pain

Disappear

Disappear

Disappear

I find myself walking towards him, reaching out wanting to touch him while chanting

Disappear

Disappear

Disappear

I'm spinning out of control  
Out of control  
I'm spinning out of control  
Out of control


	4. Chapter 3: Leaving it All Behind

Hey yes I'm back again the very next day I super proud. I super happy for al the reviews I got. I do I have a question are yall like super pissed that I keep saying I have no idea where the hell I going with this story?

Disclaimer: Yes we all know don't we

Author note: I see a light but it's not that bright! Hehehe that rhymes I have some ideas now let see where they go

Chapter 3: Leaving It All Behind

I was at my third bank of the night. If I was to go away I need money to do so and I know from all that court television shows, that people could easily track you down from anything you do. Such as transaction you make from a credit card, that why I went to three different banks that really far away from each other. Ha, I'm not as stupid as he thought I was. I step out of the last bank and hail myself a cab. I direct him to take me to the airport and started counting the money I had…roughly 20 thousands, that should be enough to get me where I'm going and get me started.

But that's it, where exactly am I going? I step out the car and into the massive airport. Crap this is huge. I'm so use to being with a big crowd that I never really notice how big it is. I walk through that airport looking at the departure times and places. Australia, China, India, Germany, Sweden, Finland, France, Spain, my head is spinning! Where to go? Where to go? Then something caught my eye America-Hawaii-that sounds really good. It always nice, people are friendly and some even speak Japanese. I head over to the ticket counter and brought six tickets to different countries, five with my credit card and the one to Hawaii with cash. I think I freak out the attendant but with a quick signature and a peck on the cheek she calm down and agree no to tell anyone I was here.

I walk over to me departure gate and waited for my time to leave. As I look out the window trying to convince myself that this was the right decision, I cried. A big part of me wanted to stay here. This is my life, my everything, and all I know. All I'm familiar with and use to is here. 2:47 Flight to Honolulu, Hawaii is now boarding. I grab my bag and walk towards the widow. Good Bye Japan.

Thanks to:

Ichigo Pocky: Here's the next cappie how you enjoy it.

Luciver: Oh I feel so special…your sick and still read my story and review special thanks to you. Feel better soon ok!

DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: thanks for reading and reviewing


	5. Chapter 4: Starting New

Hey everyone. Yes I'm back with another chappie. I have to say I super happy with all the reviews that I am getting and really do thank you all from the bottom of my empty stomach. Hehehe I'm just kidding. I really do thank all the people who read and review I do appreciate it. So without further ado here the next chappie.

Chapter 4: Starting New

I step off the airplane into the bright sunlight and warm air. Damn it was intense, it hurts to open my eyes, and I can't see anything. I rush my way towards the terminal thanking God for the relief my eyes felt.

I look around at all the people…they're so different. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I should have just stayed where I was and try to work things out with him.

Stupid, I tried that before, how many times and it doesn't work. It's time to give up and move on. I pick up my bag and walk out with determination. I'm not going to let him hold me back any longer. Damn, that stupid sun, it's so bright. Why is it hurting my eyes so much, is it because of the tears? All the tears I cried for that…thing. I stand and wait for a taxi to come; I should find someone who speaks Japanese. Wait will people recognize me. I mean I am sort of famous and you could easily spot me out if you want to, with my pink hair and all.

I jump in the cab hoping to God that by some miracle, this man would speak Japanese. He turned around and said something to me, but I couldn't understand. I ask him to take me to a hotel and he understood. HE UNDERSTOOD.

I strike up a conversation with him, explaining my situation _somewhat_ and found out a couple of things. He and his family moved from Japan about seven years ago and that he has extra room in his house if I was interested.

I was kind of reluctant at first. A stranger just offering his home to another complete stranger is really weird. Then he told me that he was unable to keep up the mortgage and would have to sell the house soon.

I felt so sorry that I told him I would check it out later, after I settle in a little bit. He smiled and nodded, then drop me off at a quaint little Japanese inn and told me he would pick me up at nine because that the time he get off. I wave at him as he left. It's always pleasant to meet people who are willing to help you.

I look around and loved all the homey feeling this place gave off. All the colors, scents, and patterns that decorated the room are wonderful. I walk over to the front desk and tap the little bell that's there. A shorthair lady appeared and sweetly welcomed me but she didn't look up and I found that really bizarre and rude, but maybe that how they treat people here. I told her I want a one-bedroom suite for the night.

As she handed me my key her jaw dropped. I knew that look, she recognizes me. She knew who I was. Crap freaking crap.

That it for the day.

Ichigo Pocky: of course I back soon; I wouldn't just leave my fan like that. I plan to update everyday (hopefully) except on weekends. Hope you like this chappie.

Luciver: yea Shu left…but will he come back? Oo

DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: here another chappie. Enjoy

Blatant Insanity: hummmm…I really enjoy your review and its making me change this story a little bit, but I really don't know if I going to be changing the length because I only can type my stories up in school and only in 40 minutes so yeah if I don't update everyday I could make it longer it you want. Also I'm trying to put in more detail in while still keeping it in his thoughts its hard especially since this is my first time doing this. Also you said you want to be immersed in it…what exactly do you mean. And thanks for telling me that I have potential that really made my day.


	6. Chapter 5: Enough is Enough

Omg! Look who's alive! Yes I'm back and I am super sorry for the long wait but it wasn't completely my fault. I won't go into details about what happen because I know that's not what you came here for. Saying that…onward to my story.

Chapter 5: Enough is Enough

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. How in the hell did I get myself into this mess? I stare down at the blank piece of paper then at the girl who happily sat across from me. She was all smiles and it was seriously freaking me out. She gushes about me and how she can't believe that she was actually here with me. Truth be told I really didn't think that I'll be recognize, I knew there was a chance I might but I wasn't actually prepared for it. When I tuned back into the conversation she told me that she was a big fan an had to order the CD's, posters and everything else off of the NG website, since we weren't as popular in the states as we are in Japan. That offers me a slight sense of relief. So I could go around as I please if I change my appearance a bit. I took the pen next to me and start drawing on the paper. After a couple of line, thought bubbles, and words I was finish. I look back up at the girl who was once again smiling at me. I guess she was waiting until I was done to start the conversation again. I apologize to her and she said it was no problem at all, she was just glad to be with me.

She then asks me what I was doing here. That took me back; I have to come with a believable story while letting her know I didn't want anyone to realize I was here. I ended up telling her I needed time away from everything: the paparazzi and all. Also that I'm trying to keep a very low profile, that I really don't want anyone to know that I'm here and got her to agree that she wouldn't tell a soul.

After about a couple of minutes more of conversation I told her I have to go and get some rest. She agrees and apologize for keep me so long. She smiled at me and asks if she can see me again. I thought about it and figured maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, so agree to meet with her again tonight. She gleam with exuberance and hugged me.

**XxX**

I went to the room and plop down on the bed, stretching out strain muscles and popping bones which brought immediate relief to my body. I sigh what to do now? I reach over to my bag and dug for a clean pair of clothes. My heart drop as my photo album fell to the floor. I flip through various pages, laughing at the memories they brought along with them. Was this the right decision? Just to get up and leave everything behind? What going to happen with the band and my family? Will they look for me? I go into my bag and pull out a gold tinted picture frame. I stare at the photo it held. It was a simple picture of me and him. It was on the nightstand by his bed, I took it that night, the last time I saw him. I'm surprise he had it. I ran my thumb across his face, maybe he did care about me…maybe it could have been different this time. I hug the picture already missing him, his touches, and his presence. Tears sting my eyes. This decision was to rash I should have stayed. I wasn't thinking how this was going to affect all the other people in my life. I place the picture on the nightstand next to me, similar to how he had it. Will you come looking for me? I turn away giving up all hope on that idea and force myself to go to sleep.

**xXx**

I woke up feeling much better that before. Then I was faced with that picture and realize how much I miss waking up to him even thought it was a rare occasion. I glance at the clock 6:58 ok I have time to relax a little bit. I grab my clothes and head towards the shower. I wonder if anyone even know that I'm not it Japan anymore. I know Hiro knows and I told him to tell my family if they get to frantic, but it has been at least a day…I think. I took out my laptop wondering if anyone e-mailed me…well if Hiro e-mail me. He's probably mad. I tap the internet icon and sign on. I had two new e-mails and Hiro was online. I click open the first one, then I hear the stupid 'bing' notifying my I have an instance message. I click the flashing bar and see 'Where the hell are you?' I minimize it deciding to ignore Hiro's question. I read the e-mail from him: 'Where are you…stop being stupid…it's not worth it…typical Hiro things.

I was reluctant to open up the next one—I didn't know the address. I opened it up against my better judgment. It was a simple e-mail but it tore through my heart. 'Brat where are you?' I close the e-mail struggling to hold back my tears. I click on that stupid flashing IM icon and tell Hiro not to worry that I'm fine. I close the internet immediately after. I don't want to deal with this I left this behind. The tears ran down my cheek as I lost my struggling battle. How could he care now…when I'm gone half way around the world. Why didn't he care about me before? Why? Why do you still torture me so, hold my heart in your hand and crush it like a bug? All you've done is toy with me emotions. I'm not having it anymore.

I charge me way into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I need to be free. I strip and jump into the hot water, each drop cleansing me of a problem that I had to deal with in my past. All of the constant name calling, the put downs—making me feel unwanted and unneeded…unloved. I pound my fist against the wall letting out all my pent up anger and frustration. But who was I angry at? Yes he treated me horrible, caused me the most pain that occurred in my life, no person deserve to be treated like that. But I allow him to damage and use me. Me. I let it happen. I allowed him to do it to me. I grab the soap and scrub every inch of my skin trying to purge him out of my system. By the time I was finished, my skin was red and tender but I could still feel him in me. I step out of the shower not wanting to do anything. I drop to the floor and wrap my arms around myself. Damn him it all his fault my tears begin to fall again. I don't want to be here. I want to be home with my family, friends, and fans. What's going to happen to my career, Hiro's and Suguru's too. It took us so long to get us where we're at now, all that hard work and effort we put in. I shiver realizing that I'm naked, brawling on the bathroom floor. I gather a towel and quickly dry the remaining water off of me. I flinch at the pain I feel from the contact of the towel to my sore skin. Arrggg enough is enough I have to forget about the past, the other people. It's time to be selfish and think of myself. I grab my clothes and check the clock, it was 7:30. I figure I meet up with…damn I never ask her man that was rude of me. Well I'll ask her over dinner. I tie my hair back and took a deep breath, this is my new life an I'm going to live it to the fullest.


End file.
